Every time I apply for a visa, something happens that I haven't fully found words for until recently. A quiet reminder that the country I've built my life in is not officially mine. That I am here on permission. And that permission can be withdrawn. After 23 years and 13 countries, I still feel it. This is the fear most expats carry and very few talk about openly.

The third shop I walked into, the electrician listened, thought for a moment, and told me he didn't think what I needed existed here. Then — without me asking — he went out and made me one. It landed so fully because I hadn't been expecting it. This is what becomes possible when we loosen our grip on how things are supposed to go.

Nobody tells you that you can be living your dream and falling apart at the same time. That you can feel brave and terrified in the same afternoon. After 24 years abroad and 13 countries, this is the thing I know most deeply — it is rarely one thing. It is almost always two.

"I don't feel like myself anymore." I have said this more times than I can count. Usually after a move. For a long time, I understood that feeling as loss — as if every country I left took something with it. But over time, I've come to see it differently. What if we aren't losing ourselves through all this change? What if we are simply meeting more of ourselves?

I spent 23 years adapting to new countries and doing it well. What took me much longer to learn was that surviving and healing are not the same thing. This is the story I don't always tell — and why it became the foundation of everything I do with expat women today.

I know what it feels like to look around at the life you built abroad and still quietly wonder, “Why don’t I feel settled yet?” This is a reflection on expat grief, identity, healing, and the emotional side of starting over.

I’ve moved every two years. Lived and worked in 13 different countries — mostly alone.
Somewhere along the way, “home” stopped being a place and became a question.
This is about expat grief, not belonging, and how art helped me create a sense of home within myself.

What actually is therapeutic art—and how can it support healing? In this post, I share why I started Healing Art Journey, what happens in a typical session, and real stories from clients who’ve used art to navigate anxiety, trauma, grief, and more.